Lost & Found

I figured why not commemorate V day and write about L-O-V-E!  The mooshy stuff we all look forward to.  But, I can’t write about LOVE without talking about hurt, pain and anguish.  One of my favorite films is Titanic.  Perhaps not a chic flic, but definitely was about romance and love.  I’m sure all of you have seen it, but it’s a love story of two people who met on this boat one in a controlling, abusive relationship and the other looking to find freedom and progression.  Little did they know that whatever they were in search of they’d find in each other on this boat called the “Titanic” that later became one of the most tragic stories in history.  

As a young girl I was very careless with love.  Being young and falling in love was something that wasn’t quite that important to me.  But, as I grew older I started to find the want and desire to love and be loved.  Unfortunately, like a hotel going out of business love was vacant.   I then wanted to re live that romance from the Titanic and even had hopes that at any given time I could find someone to save me! For many years I kept encountering men that were not who they said they were and those that showed me what a jewel I was.  But, sadly there was always something missing in those that were “great” guys.  That being said I knew what it felt to feel like you’re the best thing that could have ever happened to someone and to also feel as if  you weren’t the most important person in that person’s life or their OPTION B.  Day and Night I prayed relationship after relationship (some abusive, some very toxic) asking God to strip me from all of it and bring me someone that HE has for me.   But, how could He if I didn’t give it ALL Up!???  I was much like the alcoholic who is drunk to the point of tittering and he knows it, but in trying to give someone the bottle to make them stop they still are tugging to get the last sip!  I felt like an addict! Thinking just one more hit, this will be the last of it (the pain).  At the end of it all I realized I wasn’t who I should be.  I had changed and became the woman who had lost all self respect and self worth and all I  did was wallow in my sorrow.  I one day said to myself enough is enough and gave it ALL ….ALL OF IT to God!  I broke away and decided to LOVE myself!  Enjoy myself, find myself and trust that at one point the “right” person  will come my way and accept that if I never found that person then I would just LOVE me, myself and I!

You know when you’ve lost something (earring, bracelet, button etc.) and you decide to stop searching for it, because deep down inside you know you’ll find it eventually.  That’s where I was!  So, One day on a trip  when I least expected it.  When I wasn’t looking for love.  In the place I’d least think I’d find Him. I met that person!  There he was!!! In the anticipation of waiting for him to notice me.  Later, he approached me and whispered in my ear that he thought I was gorgeous "I Exhaled".  After only a few hours in conversation I knew it was “HIM”.  My truth …the real thing.  I was in awe of the surprise!  I can honestly say that if you wait for it …it won’t tarry…...the vision will come true!  This valentine’s has superseded those that have been filled with loneliness, heartbreak, emptiness and sadness.  It’s not about the gifts, cards etc.. it’s about feeling and receiving God’s love through this one person.  This man has been a vessel used by God transpiring God’s wondrous, amazing, pure love. 

So, for all you single people that are still in search or are in a on/off relationship that’s not going anywhere.  There is still someone out there for you.  Someone that will put your “LOVE ON TOP” (as Beyonce says).  That will keep you in awe of such astonishing love.  I say keep praying .  Those prayers aren’t falling on deaf ears!  Be specific and say exactly what you want and you will see that in time (maybe not YOUR Time), but in time that remarkable person that will treat you with the up most care, respect and appreciation will arrive.  In the meanwhile,  remember God LOVES YOU …YOU because your wonderful, brilliant, incredible and you ROCK! Happy Valentine’s! From me to you Kiss Hug and High 5!